Burn Some Ants

Suzie has pathetically poor eyesight. Although she wears contacts most of the time, occasionally she has to put on her glasses. Now these glasses are not just your average glasses….they are the thickest piece of glass you are likely to see in front of someone’s eyes, short of some type of bullet proof contraption. When she put them on her eyes look massive. Like those freaky dolls that seem to be in all the toy shops. When anyone else puts them on the first reaction is usually “Whoa!” followed by “they make me go cross eyed.” Now having such poor eyesight has also led to Suzie’s inability to catch a ball or park a car as she cannot judge distances. As you can imagine, this leads to Suzie being the butt of many jokes. Some recent highlights include:
“Stop looking at me with those things”
“Go outside and burn some ants”
“Watch out, you could start a fire with those glasses”
“Do you loan those glasses to Science labs?”
“Hey Blindy….catch” (followed by laughter when the packet of chewy hits her in the head)
“Damn these things are heavy”
“They look nice….until you see them up close”