Mop and Suzie's theory on ... Mowing the Lawn

Unnamed Real Estate Agent
Located across the road from the place we rent


Dear Real Esate Agent,

We have recently recieved advice that we are currently in breach of Residential Tenancy Agreement, section 2.16 Lawns and Gardens. You have requested that we maintain lawns and gardens to the same level as when we moved in. Your letter suggests that if we have any queries we should not hesitate to contact your office. Our queries and requests are as follows.

We have attached with this letter a maintenance request. In this request we ask for a fence to be ereceted around the perimeter of the property so that the 'poorly maintained' garden can not be seen from your office, which is conveniently located opposite the property in question.

We feel that the overgrown lawn should not be an issue. We are providing extra oxygen for the planet, reducing pollution through use of fuel powered lawn mowers and contributing to the beauty of the street. We are in fact hoping to grow the lawn long enough so that we can get Edward Scissorhands over to make some fancy grass sculptures.

We are also beginning to think that you are quite lazy over there in that office of yours. For one, you post the letter to our address when it is a 20 metre walk to put a letter in the mailbox or speak to us in person. The proofreading of your letters also reflects this laziness through numerous errors. This also makes you look unprofessional. Our errors are acceptable as we are not trying to run a profitable business or look professional.

You mention that we will get charged by the council for parking on the path as we are obstructing pedestrian traffic. This would read better as may get charged as we have been parking on the path for a while now with no problems yet experienced. The children and old ladies seem to enjoy walking around the cars and onto the soft green grass that we have grown especially for their use.

We hope that you give all of your tenants the same attention that you give us. It would be unfair for us to recieve this extra attention at the expense of other rent-payers who may desire to contact you for more important issues, such as burst hot water systems or ovens that don't work - 2 problems that took an unacceptable amount of time for you to address.

We also hope that you give the same attention to the inside of rental properties as we keep this place immaculately clean as opposed to the hovel it was when we moved in.

We are looking forward to your co-operation in these matters. It would be much appreciated if we could park on your lawn.

Yours faithfully,
Mop and Suzie