Suzie says "underwear goes outside the pants"; whoever said Perth was boring?

Well it is Sunday morning once again, and once again it appears as though all the girls are still drunk when they wake up after not one, but two big nights out on both Friday and Saturday night. (Maybe there was actually no sobering up in between all of it...)

Friday Night...
Having not gone out last Friday and having the rest of the weekend feel empty (or maybe its because there was no hang over on Saturday morning...) we decided that this weekend would have to make up for the one we missed out on. Mop had to convince Suzie that she did actually want to go out, and what do you know - a couple of burbons and shooters later, along with a bit of "Pool Party" action, anyone is up for it. Suzie's friend Sarah decided that she was going to Contacio and so stopped in to pick us up on the way... a few more shooters and cosmopolitans later and we were all drunkenly on our way to the Scarborough Friday Night Party Scene. We started off at Contacio and decided that it was way to boring and pretencious, so we thought we would go to the all-class Lookout where all the fun seemed to be happening. It's amazing how much better some of these places actually are when you're half cut and glassy-eyed. So a couple more drinks later, the black marker came out, and we think that maybe half the Lookout ended up with this website's address written on their arms...
So in the early hours of the morning, and out dancing shoes no being carried due to too much dancing at Club A, and we were on our way home, lining up at the Taxi Rank, and making friends with the entire line. It's great how Scarborough Pizza is open at 3am, and even better that when you're drunk you only manage to eat one piece of pizza, and end up the next day with enough pizza to last for a week. It makes a great breakfast and lunch. We think that maybe the evening is more entertaining when you get home. Suzie spent 10 minutes on the phone talking to Craig but thinking it was Punna. "Is this Punna? It is so Punna! Punna why are you calling me? Aren't you supposed to be packing? Punna why are you calling me?" hehe
Turns out we both drink way to much Red Bull and can't sleep so we got up and went for a walk in the rain in the morning to go and vote after only 4 hours sleep. Friday night was over...

Saturday Night...
Seeing as our friends didn't join us on Friday night (Suzie decided that she would text them all at 12:00, such a convenient time to let everyone know...) we were forced to have to host everyone (well, Carissa, Shendelle, Luke and Punna) yet again, and start Saturday night at our house with some classic tunes, and some more shooters. We started out at about 10:00 and headed to the very suave Brisbane Hotel, where Mop took the literal meaning to "licking carpet" (the walls are covered in carpet, very 60's, Mop licked one to everyone's amusement...). Suzie decided that the table's just weren't up to standard, after her drink "fell off" and smashed all over the floor. We tried to get a free drink because of it, but they just didn't think that it was their fault, much to Suzie's disappointment. After awhile, the Brisbane just wasn't doing it for us, so we thought we'd get a cab down to The Shed. Turns out after much complaining that you can actually walk from the Brisbane to The Shed, and you don't even have to wear shoes.
The Shed seems to be the new place to be in Perth, always exciting and full of interesting people. After what seemed like 6 hours, it was only actually 2 hours later, and everyone wanted to go. Suzie disappeared somewhere, Luke and Punna were nowhere to be found, Carissa and Mop had a screaming match outside that onlookers were quite amazed at, Shendelle got a free ride on one of those bike-cart things, and then before we knew it, 5 became 2, and Shendelle and Mop were the only one's left out to play. We headed down to the Mustang Bar, where Mop seemed to be mistaken by some guy for being that "girl off that show with that voice". We replied obviously to this comment that she was the girl with the eyes and nose and altogether had a face... the guy seemed to go with it... still don't know who Mop was supposed to be. Inside Shendelle turned into the a talent scout for Channel 7's new TV show, "Delivery I.D.", which actually was Mop's pass from the Brisbane Hotel that the barman gave her as a novelty item. People seem to get so much more excited when they're in the company of celebrities...! Pretty soon after that it was time to go, and on our way to finding a cab, we ran into Laura who was passed out on the steering wheel of Trav's car. Quite amusing.
Turns out that we were too late for Scarborough Pizza (or too early..), who would have thought such a thing could happen! So Shendelle and Mop went to the next best thing, the Quickee Mart across the road at the servo where we somehow managed to spend $43 on food! There is nothing like a feast at 4am, especially when watching Zoolander and rewinding all the good bits to watch them 10 times over, and before we knew it, Saturday night was over...

So is it really worthwhile that we all get by on 8 hours sleep over an entire weekend? Is it really worthwhile putting our bodies through all that stress and killing our brain cells? We think the answer is simple: even alcohol can make the slowest person seem faster, and as long as we can do it with a smile, who really cares? Once again, the weekend is over, but we can't wait for the next one to begin!

...Look out for the new show "Delivery I.D.", is set to be the new Beverley Hills 90210, coming soon in 2005 exclusively to Channel 7...

Mop and Suzie's theory on kissing

Surely everyone has experienced a bad kiss before. We certainly have. But what confused us is the way that two different people can kiss the same person and have different opinions on the quality of the kiss. And this leads us to the development of our theory that it is not so much the quality of the kiss but in fact the compatibility of the kissing partners. Everyone has their own kissing style and it depends on whether or not you kiss someone with a similar kissing style as to whether it is a good kiss. Some different kissing styles are outlined below...some good....most so very bad....

Type of kiss number 1: The washing machine
This kiss generally involves lots of tongue going in lots of different directions usully accompanied by lots of slobber. You should not have to wipe your mouth after a kiss and if you do have to then you can pretty fairly say that the kisser was a bit into the washing machine style of kissing. We really dont understand how anyone can actually enjoy this but there are probably compatible washing machine kissers somewhere...

Type of kiss number 3: The dry kiss
This is the opposite of the washing machine and usually occurs when one or both of the kissing partners has dry lips, and has the drys something bad. This type of kiss is common in the morning, particularly after a night of drinking or consumption or particular chemical substances. Morning kisses such as this can often be accompanied by various flavours (See Type of kiss number 4)

Type of kiss number 3: The lazy kiss
This is where the person you are kissing just doesn't really put much effort into the kissing which means you have to do all the work. Or vice versa....We can actually be accused of this one quite often, usually due to one of the following reasons: extreme drunkeness, too tired, just not that into the other person or just generally can't be bothered.

Type of kiss number 4: The flavoured kiss
Evolving from some type of oral digestive, the flavoured kiss can take many forms. Although girls love the shiny, sparkly, strawberry lip gloss, some guys dont really like it, particularly when they end up wearing it. As far as flavours go this one is not too bad, particularly when compared to: The Ashtray (cigarette smokers), The Fine Italian Cuisine (for lovers of all things garlic), The Bundy Breath (for lovers of rum eww), The Whopper Breath (HJ's should consider using an odourless form of onion) and many more. The flavour also tends to be worse in the morning. Is morning breath considered a flavour?

Type of kiss number 5: The Goldfish
This kiss is usually executed by people who watch movies and try to make their kiss look like it belongs in a soap opera. This kiss usually involves an open mouth that opens and closes much like a goldfish but there is no tongue. There is often a lot of head movement and swapping sides with this type of kiss.


Suggestions for quality kissing:

• Chew gum before the kiss (not that smelly nicotine gum)
• Soft kisses and gentle tongue (not too much tongue though)
• Attention to neck and ears (girls - make sure you wear a hint of perfume, no one likes a smelly neck; guys - have a shave, no one likes beard rash)
• Come up for air occasionally

Mop and Suzie's final tip... Always add an element of surprise

Suzie & Shendelle's Road Trip to Lancelin

Just for something different, Shendelle and Suzie decided to go to Lancelin for a night. We booked into the backpackers and got in the car and arrived at about 2pm. We first decorated the room with streamers, balloons, clothes and junk. Then we put some novelty items on the bookshelf thing so that we felt at home.....

We somehow ended up with a dorm room of 4 bunk beds to ourselves and by the end of our time there we managed to mess up all of them. We then went to the general store to get some stubby holders and found out that out FAVOURITE footy team, the Pirates, were playing in Ledge Point at 4pm. Of course we went and watched the game and it was GOLD. This was like no game of footy we had ever seen. The Pirates were playing the Legends which were old Pirates and they were just wearing whatever they wanted. One guy who we later found out was named Chad was wearing jeans, no shoes and had a mullet. He was smoking during the game and had EB at half time. Half the team werent wearing shoes and the goal umpire was gettin pissed off if teams got a goal cos he had to put his rum and coke down hehe.

After the footy we decided to get something to eat and we went to the cafe restaurant thing but the lady went psycho mad at us cos we used the toilets so then we went to the other cafe but they didnt have eftpos and we only had $10. Hot chicken rolls were $5 each but we wanted chips too so we asked the lady if we could just have 6 chips cos we figured that would be about as many as she would give us for free. She wrote 6 chips on the order sheet and we got to keep it hehe. We ended up with a whole bag of chips. We ended up giving most of them to a friendly Irish fella though.

After eating we started drinking and played some drinking games but found out that the other backapckers were a bit antisocial. Bugger. We decided to walk to the pub. Shendelle got side-tracked on the way and went for a ride on a bike with massive handlebars. Then we hitchhiked the rest of the way to the pub.

When we got to the pub we chatted to lots of randoms and met some of the star players from the Pirates. We also got up on the stage with the band with the tambourine. There was a group of girls havin a hens night too so everyone was having fun. We were offered to go crayfishing in the morning with some nice fellas but the idea of getting up at 5am with a hangover and then goin on a boat all day with smelly crayfish wasnt too appealing.

Just before the end of the night we met some guys from Phillip Island who are living in Palmyra and play footy for Whtifords with our friends Heals and BOJ. They were good blokes and Shendelle taught them how to be hardcore. They drove us back to our backpackers and had a few drinks with us. Their names were Stewie and Brett (with a silent B aka Rhett). We had lots of fun with them. And they wore the hideous bali pants which looked so funny hehe...

We felt like roadkill in the morning, even a run through the sprinklers screaming Yippee didnt make it any better. So we walked to the beach but it was stinky like sea weed so we just swam in the backpackers pool. Then we packed up our mess....it was amazing how much mess there was considering we were there for less than 24 hours...

It was a great trip. Looking forward to the next one...hopefully Mop will join us for the next adventure.

How'd you like those apples?

See those little apples to the right with numbers on them? That is our counter so we know how many people have visietd our blog. We are disappointed that there have been over 50 visits and we only have 3 comments (and one of them says we are losers - cheers anthony).

So please please please leave us some comments!!!!

A bunch of useless information (Part 1)

Average length of a coat hanger when straightened: 44 inches.

During pregnancy, the average woman's uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size.

The average duration of sexual intercourse for humans is 2 minutes.

The average life expectancy of geese, barring all accidents, is 25 years. (That really is useless information...)

A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are known as fingers. There is no such thing as a banana tree. Bananas grow on plants.

Colgate claims "Tooth Fairy" as a registered trademark. (So very wrong)

The love of M&Ms

When we first moved in we bought a massive packet of M&Ms and sorted them all into colours (due to Suzie's anal retentiveness) and then layered them in a vase. It looked bloody great...for about 10 minutes and then we started eating the M&Ms and within a few days they were all gone. Other people kept eating them...they'd come over and say "Hey, those M&Ms look bloody great in that vase..." and then they start eating them and then we end up with no M&Ms. So because we are computer nerds we are no longer going to actually buy and eat the M&Ms, instead we will look up information about them on the net. We recommend this website which will tell you all about the freak peanuts of the giant M&Ms: http://www.bewarethecheese.com/bigmandms.htm Here is a fantastic magic trick. Kids, don't try this at home: http://goodtricks.net/MandMs.html

:o)


P.S Did you know.......In M&M candies, the letters stand for Mars and Murrie, the developers of the candy in 1941.

P.P.S Did you know......That the "M" was originally printed in black before it was changed to white in 1954?

Dryers at the Laundrobar

We are slowly building our collection of photos of people in dryers! Below are the pics of mop and suzie. We will put up a link soon to see some of our friends inside dryers. We would love to add more photos so get down to your local laundromat and e-mail us a digital photo!!

Valentine Smellentine

This was the first year for a long time that we were both single for valentines day. We were hoping for lots of love but we were pretty disappointed. We thought we would come home from work to see our letterbox overflowing with messages of love, we expected our phones to be ringing off the hook, we thought we would be strugling to find the front door with all the flowers and presents that would be there....we didn;t do quite that well. Mop scored a sympathy message from Scotty "Happy Valentine's Day in case you dont get a real one," Suzie got about 20 Valentines day cards (most of which were from the kids she teaches), we got a card in the mail that said "Either one will do, from you know who" haha. And that's about it. No chocolates, no flowers, no roses or any type of thorny plant for that matter.

BUT...then we discovered "The Book of Love." This is a liftout in the West Australian newspaper that people write messages to their loved one in. We soon discovered that all of our admirers used this way of confessing their feelings to us. It was also great to discover some of the nicknames that people give us... like batgirl, babes, sweetheart etc. Suzie was pretty stoked with her personalised message from Scott (Scott is obviously a code name for Smith, the hot guy on sex and the city)....it was something like.... Suzanne, you are beautiful like a butterfly and i will love you forever. But maybe it was even better....

To try and deal with the pain of being unloved on Valentines Day we invited Shendelle over and decided to make dinner. But it was too hot and dinner take so much effort so instead we let KFC do the cooking and we had the ULTIMATE TEAM FEED or whatever it was called while we watched more episodes of sex and the city.

After Shendelle went home we decided it might be a god idea to go for a walk to burn off all the deep fried fat. But then we decided it was too hot so we bought ice cream from Baskin and Robbins instead. Turns out that Baskin & Robbins is couple central. bah. We decided to go and eat our ice cream at the beach but turns out that the beach is an equally romantic valentines day destination. Couples everywhere...in cars, in sand dunes, on picnic blankets...a voyeur's dream really.

We stood in the carpark to eat our ice-cream. at one stage suz offered mop a taste of her Love Potion 31 flavour and then fed it to mop on a spoon. Thats about as romantic as it got....

So...all in all, we still decided that being single on valentines day was not so bad, certainly better than being in a relationship for the occasion (and the other 364 days)

Woody's Party and the morning after (no prizes for original title)

Well....Saturday night was Woody's surprise party for his 25th. We had never been to a surprise party before so it was very exciting. Suzie soon found that it was harder to make a group of grown adults be quiet than a class of nutter Year 3s. Anyway Woody walked in and was surprised and then we missed the surprised look for the photo and had to make him act it out hehe.

So...pretty soon it was time to start drinking and for Mop this also meant time to start knocking back the No-Doz. There were not that many exciting events at Woody's, the highlight was definately Mop falling in the esky. Rumour has it that she was sitting on the edge of the esky and went to get up so Ridgy could get a drink then when going to sit back down she somehow landed with her ass IN the esky. Unfortunately Mop wouldnt re-enact that one to have a photo. Another highlight was Little Amy's guitar playing and singing. Mop was encouraging Scotty to sing along by whispering (well she thought she was whispering) the words to him then he would sing it. That was especially great during that Sarah MacLachlan song (Angels).

So anyway, we managed to drag everyone out at about 12 to go to Northbridge. A really annoying guy with no social skills was there and tried to get in the car with us and we told him it was full even though there were clearly 2 spaces hehe. That was after he had asked Shendelle for for her number and she said 0.....4......0.......0 and then just ran away.

Just before 1 we arrived in Northbridge and went to the Shed (again....think its time to stop going there every week). We were dancing around and taking photos with randoms (all posing with Mop's aviator sunglasses on) for a good hour or so before we realised most of our mates werent there and we ended up finding out that they were at Black Bettys. We walked there, talking to randoms and havin photos with cops (lovely fellas, the boys in blue) and then whinged about paying to get in so the bouncer gave us 2 free passes. Gotta love a bargain...and there aint no more of a bargain than free....

As usual, Black Bettys was full of boagans and ugly chicks (excpet for our mates of course hehe). Mop got spewed on hehe. Suzie had to throw water all over her for a good half hour to make sure it was off. And not much else really happened. We left at about 3:30 and Mop cut her foot on glass then it was all on from there. You know what? At the time its all so funny and fun and trying to type this now it is even funny and fun but its so hard to put it all into words!

When we EVENTUALLY got home (after stopping at a new pub that will open up soon called Bambu - Mop really needed to pee and the owner just happened to walk out as we were stumbling past and was kind enough to let her use the ladies) we decided that there was no time like the present to scrub the floor. We had recently found out that our "black" grout in the kitchen and laundry is actually meant to be white. Haha. so we scrubbed and scrubbed and laughed and laughed and scrubbed and laughed and then scrubbed some more. And then laughed a bit hehe.

When we got to bed it was 4:44 am and Mop took a photo of the clock and saved it as her phone screensaver.

.....

7am we somehow managed to wake up thought it would be a great time to go for an early morning walk. So we got into our dress ups and walked to the beach and back. Our usual walk takes about 45 mins, this took over and hour and half, turns out even the ants were walking faster than us.

Then we went water skiiing and died in the ass. Thats all.... we're sure that there'll be some more on friday for you though after we go to clubba on thursday night. Bring it on.

Best impulse buy ever (part 2)

We decided that getting lives was way too much effort so started watching the Sex and the City box set again....

Perhaps if the plane crash scene on Home and Away was a bit more realistic or even interesting we might have started watching that.

How did Mop get the pink shoes on?

Well... today is Mop's birthday and to celebrate we decided to have a night of pissiness (is that a word???? Is now...). So....we had a few people over for drinks (and dress ups) on the weekend which then resulted in us partying on in Northbridge at the Shed which is a new pub for those of you in the uk who are just not with it and then to Clubba where it seemed that everyone was ready to go home except for Mop. so everyone had to stay until she was ready to go home which was at about 4 oclock hehe dam no doze. Among the events of the night - here are some highlights: (the events listed in pink are the ones that mop remembers. all other events are mental blanks for poor alco mop)

1. Ryan from Mop's work who somehow managed to get covered in pegs while wearig bunny ears and pink sunglasses and purple rubber gloves. sexy yeah. sources say that he had approx 72 pegs in his outfit valued at a whopping $4.78

   

2. Suzie creating birthday badges for everyone. mop the birthday girl had big one which said "its my birthday so buy me a drink ps i'm wearing an american bikini under this dress" everyone else had "its not my birthday but can you buy me a drink anyway". suzie found one later in someones garden down the street which happpened to be scarborough beach road.
3. The birthday cake. it was a brownie mix as opposed to a cake mix and the oven broke. say no more. ps pink icing doesnt go welll on a hot brownie cake thing. apparently mop ate some, didn' t like it so gave it to one of the boys like it was a piece just cut.
4. Pool party baby it was a cool party cool pool party la la la la. suzie singing the whole "pool party song" while everybody else sat their stunned having never heard it before. (suzie recommends you all download it - pool party by aquabats)
5. The action shots of shendelle, jono 81 and scotty jumping over poles outside clubba
6. Suzie bought pizza that fell all over the floor and then got thrown all over everyone and all over the floor along with 10 thousand M&Ms.
7. Shannon and mop buying everyone hungry jacks on the way home and then everyone expected them to pay for the taxi.. they gave everyone a bunch of fives.
8. The mug that mop got as a present (and the flowers and a few other things...) that has a naked man on it and when it gets hot takes his pants off... apparently katie gave it to her.. and apparently katie was at the party.... hmmmm
9. Suzie and shannon each wearing one of shannons shoes and one of carissas shoes at the pub. nobody knows where suzies shoes were, and why shannon looks so good in heels.
10. Suzie sending a drunken email to carrie that jono 84 scribed for her, luke stealing mops wallabies jumper that was hidden in her room... he must have gone through everything like dirty undies to find it, thats about everything we can think of... for now.. we'll keep you posted on more dirty stories.
    one more thing hehe... scotty's flacid penis. enough said.
11. the biggest questions of all: how did mop get the pink shoes on, how did mop put her shit in her bag, how did mop leave the house? (stories around the place say the night went black from well... we dont really remember... another hmmm) Lucky we have digital cameras and sent item boxes on mobile phones... and lovely friends that can fill in the gaps for the birthday girl...!

thanks all for a really good night and making it a memorable.. (well semi memorable!) one! looking forward to the next one.. suzie's bubble wrap party. See you all then. mwah xxx

ps mop has brown hair now. before the party it was white blonde.

so the question still remains....How DID Mop end up wearing the pink shoes? Maybe we will never know. We dont think anyone will ever truly know....Denernerner nernernerner (that is X-Files music)......

Best impulse buy ever

Just a note to let everyone know what we have officially finished watching EVERY Sex and the City episode in the entire series. Now we are going to have to get lives....